My Sunshine

When I try to conjure up my first memory of her, I have several flashes from our third year of life. I remember my mom taking me to visit her while she was sick at home and discovering that her own mother covered every inch of their floor with newspaper in case she vomited on the floor. I remember taking an old camera my dad gave me to "school" and the black and white pictures that resulted. I remember standing in the back of her dad's El Camino doing the "Firecracker Firecracker Boom Boom Boom" cheer together. We had matching silver lame bathing suits and I remember my mom having to jump in the pool at the country club to rescue her when our inflatable boat turned over on her head.

When we moved back to Hometown, she was there with open arms. She invited me to my first concert--Rick Springfield--and we spent the entire ride home rolling around in the back of her parents' hatchback looking at the stars and dreaming big dreams for ourselves. At some point, she started reading Revelations while bored in church. This was smack in the middle of the cold war, and she decided she didn't want to be away from her parents overnight in case the rapture came in the form of a nuclear bomb. My falling asleep at my birthday party in the fifth grade resulted in righteous anger from her and a late night trip to my house for her mom.

I remember the summer when we were 19 and we piled in the car along with two other friends to drive to the Sheriff's office to let them know that both she and her ex had violated the restraining order she had taken out on him. Imagine my delight when she called to tell me she was dating Heath--the name of her horrible ex and my ex who had died. I could not have been happier watching her walk down the aisle to become his wife.

I'll never forget holding her firstborn in my arms--little Lane. Born 4 months too early and not meant for this world but loved endlessly nonetheless.

Today, she gave birth to her fourth baby since December 2002. Another little girl to join Walker and Kate. She kept the little girl in as long as possible (37 weeks they thought) but Baby Barry is a wee little thing--5 pounds 8 ounces--and is currently getting some help with the little lungs. Mama and Daddy are still trying to come up with a name.

Welcome to the world, Baby Girl. The best wish I can make for you is that you find one friend as loyal, constant and loving as your mom. I love you.

Local Access

We have a horrible local access television channel here in Mayberry. It has a couple of different cooking shows, a Bible study, an "inspirational" Oprah wannabe, the Car Guys (not the ones from Boston) and interviews with the City's information officer. However, the mainstay are programs from the local performing arts centre.

We have a great arts centre run by a good friend of mine, but it is technically a part of the school system. So, all of the local schools can have their programs there. I've been having insomnia lately so the local talent shows from the various schools have been my late night entertainment.

Well, lo and behold if I didn't get an e-mail from a friend who sings with me in our community choir asking me to be a JUDGE at her middle school's talent show in a couple of weeks. I hesitated, but it wasn't the $50 I'll get paid that tipped the scales in favor of doing it. It was the blog fodder.

Beat

Although a large percentage of our practice is litigation, I made it nearly 5 years before having to assist at a trial. We had one other jury trial a couple of years ago, but the other side finally settled after we picked the jury. It just doesn't make sense for most of our clients to go to court--it's too expensive.

But, all the forces aligned and my workweek started last Sunday night at 8pm. We picked the jury Monday morning but there was another case in front of us, so the trial didn't start until Thursday morning. Talk about exhausting--having to be fully dressed and "on stage" for hours on end is hard work. I ate every meal at the office--lunch and dinner closed in a small room with my boss who doesn't really chew his food. He just smacks it down. To add insult to injury, the "Taste of Mayberry" was Thursday night, so when we arrived back at the office from the court house, there was no where to park and 10,000 people partying in the streets. He gave me 20 minutes to run home, let my dog out, change clothes and pick up our dinner. Admittedly, I was glad that the coffee shop across the street was still open at 9:30 when I realized we still had plenty of work in front of us.

At any rate, we felt good when the jury went out and were more encouraged when they did not return quickly. The good news--they did buy our arguments. We had managed to get most of the counts thrown out before the trial began, got another thrown out after the Plaintiffs finished their case on Thursday afternoon and believed that only one of the remaining three had any merit. The jury agreed. We gave them a formula for how to determine how much money to award and they agreed. Problem being, they didn't agree with one number in our formula and the result was that our client owes his archenemy several thousand dollars.

We left an attorney on the jury, and thankfully, she was willing to share with me the jury's reasoning following the trial. They all felt that it was a defense verdict and could not have been more complimentary of our lawyering. That did little to rid us of the sting when looking at our clients' faces.

So, I hurried home following the verdict, left my suit on the floor, and headed south with my mother to my grandparents' house. My grandfather celebrated his 86th birthday on Saturday and my sister and my nephew were already waiting for us. I let my mother drive (even after she nearly killed us a mile from my house) for a while, but when I realized that a 3 hour drive was going to take us 5, I took over. Then, my sister and I stayed up until 1 am talking. I woke up the next morning feeling like I had been to a lock in at the Y.

I tried to take a nap after breakfast, but my brain would not turn off. All the woulda, coulda, shouldas were just eating me up. So, I got up and helped my grandmother with lunch. My sister, nephew and myself left shortly thereafter heading home and I did nap on the way back. I awoke feeling fairly human to discover we were one exit past ours heading straight into downtown Atlanta--where road resurfacing had traffic backed up for miles. An hour or so later, we finally made it back to my house. Pizza, a Clifford dog from one of those "grab the stuffed animal" machines (it only cost $4), and some glossies later, I found myself in my bed with my 80 pound dog and my nephew. I had to draw the line at my sister joining us.

Will--the child who is a fabulous sleeper--was ready to go at 4:00. I convinced him to lie back down, but being sandwiched between two of my favorite beings does not make for the most peaceful slumber. Up at 7:30, they were gone by 9 and I only had 846 entries in my feed reader.

I sure hope I never have to do that again.

26-50

26. Biting into the proscuitto and arugula pizza at Otto
27. Hearing the senators vote "Yea" or "Nay" on the issue of the impeachment of William Jefferson Clinton while looking down at their faces.
28. Cruising along the Potomac on an early summer night
29. Riding and dancing in Autumn's car on the way to the liquor store after our final first year exam
30. "Hark I Hear" with Brooke
31. Watching Allyson walk down the aisle
32. Dinner at Tru
33. "Deeper Shade of Soul" in Allyson's Chevy Blazer
34. My conversation with Bill the night after Beth's wedding
35. Watching Mr. Shaw conduct
36. the way it felt to have my mom lift me out of bed and into her arms every morning for years
37. Watching Daddy mop the floor in his red sweatshirt
38. Coming up for a breath and seeing my sister at the other end of the pool telling me I was going to make it
39. Standing in front of the whole school as the lone representative from Mrs. Adcock's class to make all A's
40. watching my sister finally beat the record in a time trial in Tuscaloosa
41. Sitting on Ashley's stoop having 227 with Ashley and Burch following "Saving Private Ryan"
42. Fried chicken and mashed potatoes on Sunday afternoons
43. Christmas vacations when my sister would be home from college and the house would be full again
44. spending the weekend with Allyson and Walker--aged 3 months
45. sticking my toe in the Pacific Ocean for the first time
46. long afternoons on the Pontoon boat in Tennessee
47. watching Pebbles run back and forth over the sand dunes
48. Christmas morning when I got the Barbie Dream House
49. Eating crab cakes on the water in Maryland
50. the King's Singers at the Kennedy Center

Wonder

When people ask why I went to law school, I really have no good answer. My family always said I should become a lawyer because it was impossible to win an argument with me. Many of the people I admired in life are attorneys. I went to DC after undergrad to live a little and be sure law school was what I wanted to do. I LOVED DC. Absolutely loved (nearly) every minute of my three years there. But I knew that I had to go to law school or I would always wonder.

I don't hate practicing law, but it doesn't wind my watch either. I wonder if I was practicing somewhere else, I would be happier. I was successful in law school and had I started a year earlier than I did, I would have been able to write my own ticket. Instead, my first interview was on 9/11/01, and the market was in flux during the crucial hiring times for me. I had a horrible clerking experience the summer before my third year, so when my current bosses called and offered me a position I knew wouldn't suck, I jumped at it. Even though it was no where near DC (my intended location). So, I've spent the past 5 years in Mayberry. I don't want to be one of those people my dad always warned us about--if I can just graduate from high school, I'll be happy. If I can just get in the right college I'll be happy. If I can just find the right major I'll be happy. If I can just find a husband I'll be happy, etc. But I really believe I need to move in order to be happy.

I went to the beach this weekend with my mom, sister and nephew. My sister convinced my exercise-adverse self to take a 14 mile bike ride. During the long ride along Highway 30-A, I wondered at how and why my life has become so stagnant. Somewhere along the way, I lost my confidence. I went from a successful, happy young woman excited about life to someone content with status quo. Even once I decided it was time to take the plunge and make a move, I'm most scared of being successful. We saw one of my two best childhood friends and her mother on Friday night. They have always been two of my biggest cheerleaders. They still believe I'm great and that I can do anything I want. I'm trying to believe them.

The picture above is of my nephew and my mom looking on in wonder at the sea lion performing at Gulfworld. I'm looking for the wonder in this world again.

Perspective

I know there are several people who read around here who don't necessarily make your presence known. And I also know that every single one of you have some sort of Georgia connection.

Please go read this post about a sweet NOVA family who find themselves facing a challenge no parent should face in Savannah. And let's show them just how hospitable southerners can be.