9-11-01

On September 10, 2001, I was a second year law student with an exciting week ahead of me. I don't think I had classes on Monday, but I must have gone to school for some reason because I picked up my first manuscript assignment for law review. It was due by noon on Friday. Nice. I knew I was going to hate this.

I had dropped my resume with four big firms in Atlanta. Four. That was it. We all laughed about it at the time, but I knew that if I didn't get a job with one of those four, I didn't want to work in Atlanta. My first on campus interview was with King and Spalding on Tuesday.

Tuesday dawned bright and early. I got up and showered and put on my new black skirt suit (I hate black skirt suits) with a blue top from Harolds. I had Civ Pro class at 8:30. I was watching the Today show as I got ready, but was safely in class by the time the first plane hit.

We must have gotten out of class early. The law school has one long hallway and at the opposite end of the hallway from where our class met was the student lounge. The other half of the 2L's had Civ Pro at the same time we did with a different teacher. Then, we all had an hour break before we all had Tax at 10:40 a.m. I walked into the lounge with Autumn and Darrell met us in the doorway. I don't really know why; it's not like Darrell was one of our best friends at the time. He said, "Two planes flew into the World Trade Center. At first they thought it was an accident, but now it looks like they were hijacked." We walked over to the TV to watch. There was one regular size TV mounted in the corner of the room and there were probably 75-100 people in there watching it.

I went and sat next to my friend Meredith on the side table that connected the 1970's pleather furniture together. We were watching CNN and there was suddenly a news flash on the bottom of the page that the Pentagon was on fire. In the next second, the ticker said that the Mall was on fire. I looked at Meredith and said, "My God. It's Armageddon." I then got up and walked to the back of the room to try to reach Leslie, who's office is located in the Smithsonian Castle on the Mall. As I was walking to the back of the room, I passed Bo Chambliss. His dad is a Senator and my former boss (as well as a good family friend). I said, "Have you talked to your dad?" He said, "Yeah. They're OK."

I tried to call Leslie. I tried to call Sherri--who's office is very close to the Pentagon. I tried to call Saxby's office. I couldn't get through to anyone. I called Lana to see if she had heard from Tiffany--her daughter who had just moved to NYC. She said that she had talked to her and that she was OK. She asked how I was. That's the point that I started crying. "I'm scared, Lana."

The next hour or so is kind of a blur. I finally went upstairs to the computer lab and tried to e-mail a few folks. I really just wanted to be by myself. I really just wanted to be in DC. I remember my friend Garth walking through and asking if I was OK. What do you say? Teresa called me back about that time to let me know they evacuated and were all Ok. I can only imagine how scared they were. Where do you go? We all lived in VA, so do you get on the roads and drive back to VA? At that point, we didn't know the attacks were over. We didn't know what their next target might be. Would it be the 14th Street Bridge? Would it be the Memorial Bridge? Should we risk it? Or do we stay in DC?

I remember talking to my friend Ashley later on. She was working for the Secretary of Energy then and said that the Secret Service rushed in and carried him out. She was in his office and looked out the window--I can't remember now which monument it was, but one of the monuments was right there and she thought: "Target?" Then they heard reports of an explosion near the State Department which was very close to their building, so they left and went to a hotel and watched TV in the bar. She finally felt safe enough to head out later that afternoon. When she finally got on the road, everything was deserted. There were National Guard troops posted on the bridge who asked to see her ID. She showed him her government ID and the man looked and her and said, "Ma'am, drive quickly home and stay there. Do not leave again." It was her birthday.

While a select few of the leadership in the house and senate got whisked away by the Secret Service, the majority had no where to go. Several members of Congress live in their offices since they are only up there a short amount of time each week. Saxby saw several guys standing on the lawn of the Capitol as he was driving to his apartment and had them get in with him. It really was chaotic.

My friends that were in the White House said that the Secret Service came tearing through their office screaming, "Run! Now! Get out! Run!" My question, "Where did you go?"

Back in Macon, I went back down to the lounge to find out that one of the towers had fallen. Nathan met me with that news. Several people came up to ask me if I had talked to any of my friends. Autumn remembered that our friend Christy was returning from her honeymoon sometime early that week. I had talked to Teresa, so I really felt OK about them for the moment, but I still had not heard from Leslie. Sherri had sent out a mass e-mail that she was OK.

At 10:40, we all looked around and decided we may as well go to class. I guess we didn't really want to leave because we needed to feel a part of the community that morning. I sat in the front since my interview was at 11:00 a.m. I asked Aimee to sit with me. I left my phone in our locker and prayed that I would have a message from Leslie when I got back to it.

Our professor, who was new anyway and still on trial, came in and started class like nothing was going on. Nathan interrupted him and said, "Sir. Do you not know what's going on?" He said, "What? The World Trade Centers? Aren't those the same buildings they bombed a few years ago?" Nathan: "They've collapsed. The entire buildings are gone." Prof: "Well, if anyone is personally affected, you may be excused." Poor Krishna who's uncle was an ER doc at Beth Israel and who's cousin worked in one of the towers left in tears. The rest of us just sat there in awe.

I snuck out and went to my interview. No call from Leslie. This was the interview I had been waiting for since I decided to go to law school. This was the place I had decided I wanted to work. One of the interviewers I knew from undergrad. The other, I had gotten the scoop on from a good friend who practiced at the firm. They invited me to postpone the interview, but we went ahead with it anyway. And it went well. And I felt good about it. When I left, I checked my phone again and had a message from Leslie--she was fine. That was really it before the phone cut off.

I had to spend the afternoon and evening in the library with Charles working on our law review manuscript. I'm the type who would have been absolutely glued to the TV if I had the opportunity. In fact, I'm still a little bitter that I didn't have the opportunity. The rest of the week was more of the same, more on campus interviews, more class, more manuscripting. I found out on Wednesday that I did not get a call back to K&S. Charles and I finished the manuscript Thursday night--me through swollen red eyes. I had called my mom to give her the news on the way to a reception hosted by another firm. I had a car full of classmates and just bawled to my mom in spite of my efforts to control myself. They all consoled me with the fact that I had gotten a call back from K&S's biggest competitor in Atlanta. A firm that by most accounts is a much better place to work. A firm where I spent the summer in 2002 completely miserable.

Finally, Friday morning, I didn't have class. I had some time before my last OCI and I watched the memorial service at the National Cathedral. I sang along with the choir through my tears and stood up in my kitchen when they said the pledge. I wanted nothing more than to drive to NYC to stand on the street and cheer those firefighters along with everyone else.

They took our innocence that day. They attacked two of my favorite cities including the city of my heart. But they did not succeed in their mission. They did not make us afraid to continue living our lives as Americans.

One Year Ago Today

This precious child came into the world. Little did we know that he was love, worry, joy, mystery, frustration, and hope all rolled into one.

It has been so amazing to watch him grow over the past year--and even more amazing to watch how he has effected change in our family. My sister has become an incredible mother. My parents continue to prove that they will do anything for us. My grandparents have something to focus on other than their doctor's appointments. I've risked giving my heart to someone for the first time in a long time. And I have someone to buy me a house in the South of France.

From the day he was born, I've felt like he trusts me. Even on that very first day (and during that long first night), when I would talk to him, he would open his eyes to look at me. I can't tell you how that felt--to feel that connection with someone who depends on you for so much. To know that you are one of the "first responders" for this little life.

When he and Julie were living with me, I would wake up every morning and head into their room where I was greeted with a big smile. "Do you need clean pants?" We would head over to the pack and play changing table and Etta would lick his feet while I changed his diaper. He would laugh and smile and look out the window or talk to Frosty the Pimp Man.

We were so blessed to get to spend those first few months together. Nearly every night, he would fall asleep while I was holding him. On the nights that he was especially fussy, I would try singing to him. Nevermind that if I remember the tunes of the lullabies, it's usually Phi Mu rush song words that go with it ("now the moon has gone to rest, in the arms of the sky. May we softly say to you, you will be a Phi Mu.")

At the end of July, we spent a week at the beach. That's when we worked on the squishy face. He was already making it, but I could get him to do it on command. We spent lots of time at the pool where he would gladly go under the water and "kick kick kick kick kick." He also fell in love with Etta that week. When we would bring him into our bed in the morning, she would emerge from under the covers and he would say, "Et-ta." He was completely entertained by her chasing her ball and he loved to share his food with her and tried to convince us to let her share her food with him.

There is no feeling in the world like the one when he looks at you with recognition on his face and then breaks out either into a big smile or the squishy face, immediately goes into his crawl/sprint, and grabs on to your legs. Once you pick him up he starts making the "love noise" and gives you a big open mouth kiss--usually on the nose and often involving his one tooth, but we'll overlook that part.

Happy Birthday, sweet William. Every minute I spend with you is a blessing. It has been my joy and privilege to love you this year and I am so thankful that you are finally here. Never forget that you are loved all the world.