Why?

Why do people spray that god-awful flowery-musty smelling spray (and they are all flowery and musty smelling) after going to the bathroom? What does that help really? Doesn't that just make things doubly offensive?

Have You Seen These Guys?

These are the little league world series champions from Columbus, Georgia, and I'm in love. My dad got me hooked on it when he was at my house Sunday before last. I watched them play last week and they kept winning. My parents and I watched them win the National Championship on Saturday and were all eager for Sunday's International Championship game.

It got rained out, but they played and won on Monday afternoon. I had the game TIVO'd and just got the chance to watch it last night. These are some great kids. I think my favorite is Josh Lester aka Stump.

Before the game was even over, the Japanese players were in tears. There was a kid on first with two out and he was crying standing on first base. Then the pitcher threw a wild pitch and he had to run to second. Once the game was over, the Japanese kids just dissolved into tears. Once the Columbus team celebrated for just a minute, they immediately went over and shook hands with the Japanese team. Then, they asked the Japanese kids to run with them on their victory lap.

Needless to say, I was bawling my eyes out. Then the stupid lady working for ESPN interviews the Columbus team. By this point, they are all dissolved into tears, too. The coaches, the star players--no one could speak. Including little Josh who just said (while consumed with the ugly cry), "I'm just real happy."

Anyway, just wanted to proclaim my love for these great kids who have brought me some joy over the past week and 1/2 and have made me proud to live in Georgia.

Just a Few Helpful Hints

If you ever manage to slice your foot between the little piggy that had none and the little piggy that cried "Wha wha wha!" all the way home? And said slice refuses to heal after two weeks of stitches? And then your fat butt has to hobble around on crutches?

Just remember to wear elastic waist pants to work so that you can stuff whatever it is you have to carry from one room to the other down your pants.

So What do You Think Happened

SCENE: Eckerd's
12:30pm Monday

I entered to purchase a toothbrush since I left mine at my sister's. I walked in behind a very tan man with white hair who looked to be about 40-45. He was wearing jeans, a red t-shirt tucked in and boots. He was accompanied by a tall, very thin lady looking to be about 35-40. She was wearing some sort of monster truck t-shirt tucked in to some light blue cotton shorts, a sparkly wide belt and some high heeled sandals that had jewels on them. Her hair has been processed so many times, there is no way to discern its color although the roots are clearly black. She had it pulled back in a pony tail.

Something about them just did not go together. I have this talent for looking at couples and knowing whether or not they "go together." I voiced this talent to my family when I was in preschool and was later proven right by the divorce of all of the couples who did not go together.

Back to Eckerds--

They were both walking with purpose. No browsing in the makeup aisle or stopping to check out the latest glossies. Imagine my amusement when the lady entered the "feminine products" aisle and the man stopped dead in his tracks. It wasn't like he was surprised, it was like there was a forcefield that prevented him from taking one more step. She walked to the end of that aisle and I turned right to head to the toothbrush aisle.

I was surprised to find them at the counter when I arrived. Whatever they were after, it took them less time to find it than it did for me to pick up a toothbrush. At this point, I began speculating as to their purchase. The Man was standing at the counter with the Lady just looking on as a bystander. I could tell that it was just one box and at first thought condoms. However, their body language was anything but amorous, so I quickly shifted to pregnancy test. I tried to get a clear glimpse while the man pulled the cash out of his wallet. At the same time, I noticed that he was wearing a wedding ring and she wasn't. She had a ring on every other finger, though. I finally saw that the box was Monistat 7. He gave the clerk his money, put the change back in his wallet and discretely handed her the bag as they exited. They climbed into his BIG Dodge Ram 3500 truck and rode off into the sunset. I was disappointed that his truck still had temporary tags from the dealer because I couldn't see if he was from a different county or something.

So, what do you think was going on?

Sign of the Times?

Our secretary relayed the following conversation she had with a client yesterday. As M. was walking to the kitchen for a drink, the client (who was sitting in the conference room) announced that she had decided to go ahead with the gastric bypass. M. assumes she's speaking to someone in the conference room until the client yells out to her:

C: Did you hear me?

M: I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were talking to me.

C: Yes, I've decided to go ahead with the surgery despite the bad press.

M: I didn't realize there was bad press about it.

C: Oh yeah, it's all over the news. I've just decided it is worth it.

M: Well, I hope it goes well.

C: Have YOU ever considered having it?

The Only Thing A Treadmill is Good For

http://youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI